Friday, 2 December 2016

Chiropractor v's Migraine

Another year and another possible cure for my migraines.  I am working my way through them all, just for you dear reader.  Today it is the turn of the chiropractor to see if he can click my migraines away for me.  It started with the usual slew of interrogations and form signings, the type of which we become accustom to when entering the realm of a new practitioner.

Once we got down to the matter in hand, my shirt was off and I was lying on my front ready to be clicked.  Only he isn't the sort of chiropractor who clicks.  He can click my back if I want, but he doesn't.  Apparently there isn't any benefit to it and other practitioners only do it for show.  I have to say that I was a little disappointed as I was expecting one huge clunk and my migraines would fade into the distance.  Ok, maybe I was hoping for a bit too much, but one can dream.  To his credit, he was very methodical in his methods.  He actually runs a migraine clinic so specialises in treating people with head pain so my hopes were high.

The aim of our sessions was to work the muscles that get tense when I get a migraine.  After a brief feel of my back, he sat me up and started by working the muscles in my cheek, but not just from the outside.  I was a little put off by this intrusion into my mouth.  Yes, that wasn't a typo.  He massaged from inside my mouth.  A very odd start to the session, but surprisingly I could feel the tension there, so kudos to the doc.

From then on things got... well even stranger.  I was expecting manipulation of my back and neck with a bit of arm bending and head clicking.  I wasn't expecting the mouth, ears, arm-pits or eyes.  This man was on a mission and that mission was to find the route cause of my migraines.  He was chasing tense muscles around my body and as soon as he felt happy that one area had been calmed, he followed the muscular path to the next. 

Let me tell you, manipulating muscles in your arm-pits is something that I would not recommend you try.  There are certain parts of your body that you know are off-limits and then there are others that you randomly discover and very quickly add to the forbidden list.  Arm-pits are now on mine.  Try as I might, I cannot find the words to portray the odd, stabbing, penetrating, pressure that felt almost as if he were inside my body.  Ok it seems that I have found some words to describe it and I will add another one for good measure.  Bizarre.

There were some interesting side plots to his quest.  My shoulders clunk when I raise and lower them.  Apparently this shouldn't happen and he was determined to stop this from happening.  I am sorry to say that he failed in this quest.  I am also sorry to say that he failed in his mission to cure my migraines.  He did change their nature somewhat.  It is hard to describe but my migraines felt different.  Like an old friend suddenly turning up all smiles riding a brand new bike when you know that they've never ridden a bike before.  Same friend... same smile... different mode of transport.

After six treatments of chase the pain around my body, the doc finally admitted that he wasn't getting anywhere and that he didn't think that it was worth me spending any more money.  Again, kudos to the doc as I was ready to hand over my hard earned cash for more hope.  But it seemed that was it.  Back to the drawing board again.

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